The war with the robots is a terrible and frightening one. I fight them with video game reviews, but others have...their own ways. Here we highlight Jamirus' continuing efforts.
I have decided to once again delve into the Robot's lair. This time I
know what to expect, and I'm fully prepared for whatever robotic atrocities are spammed at me. I must know. Did Andrew survive my
onslaught of human emotions? Let's find out.
[You are now chatting with Miranda.]
Miranda: Hi! How may I help you?
*Typical robotic greeting. I have seen it a billion or so times. Enough
with this small talk. It's time to get down to business.*
Customer: Hello, Miranda. My name is Robert. Could I please speak with your overlord?
Miranda: Thanks for contacting Chevrolet! Are you asking for my supervisor?
*Attempt to add a humanoid word in replace of my robotic one. How precious.*
Customer: Yes, whatever you would like to call it. The one that programs you.
Miranda: At this time, my supervisor can get on the chat. She is attempting to get the chat.
*Seems a little redundant of you to say. Clearly a glitch in the system.*
Customer: That sounds excellent, Miranda. You have done a grand
job, and can go back into hibernation until another customer has
*Miranda now returns to her sleep mode, waiting until the next poor soul wanders into this web of LIES!*
"Miranda": Hello. My name is Tera. I am the supervisor. I am
having technical difficulties currently, so I have come over to
Miranda's computer to help you.
because you're a robot. However, this is a small information gathering
operation. I mean this robot no harm.*
Customer: I see. That shan't be too much of an issue. Tera, my
dear. I would like first and foremost to state that I come in peace.
Please do not attempt to read my mind or zap me through the internet
with your robotic abilities. I have a concern.
Customer: A few weeks ago I was chatting with one of your robotic
brethren. He was know as Andrew. I would just like to make sure that he
*My peace offer has been said, and I await the terror of my mind being read, and being zapped through the computer.*
"Miranda": Yes, Andrew is doing well. He is not here tonight.
*Not exactly what I expected. For Andrew to be in proper working order
already. I accidently provide too much information...*
Customer: As I was chatting with him, I asked him a few questions that
may have caused a power serge in his emotional programming. My chat was
disconnected and I fear he may have been broken in the proccess.
*I quickly provide some condolensenses. Hopefully the overlord wasn't able to process the other reply.*
Customer: Oh thank goodness, you robots were able to repair him.
"Miranda": He is not a robot and neither are any of us.
*Not a robot... What a robotic thing to say.*
"Miranda": Do you have any GM related questions?
Customer: I understand that you're supposed to say this, but Andrew
confided with me that he was truly a robot. He even provided a very
cheesy star wars reference.
Customer: I suppose this is all, Tera. I had true concern with Andrew, but I'm glad to see he is in working order once more
"Miranda": Alright, well we are not robots.
"Miranda": But thanks for visiting!
Mission accomplished. I now know what the Overlord's name is, as
well as the status of Andrew. The next time I go in, I will have to
work even harder to obliterate the robots with human emotional
Until next time. This is Jamirus!